Despite having a strong romantic relationship for more than 35 years, Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham have never tied the knot.
Are you curious as to why they have choose to stay single?
Oprah provides the following open justification for their unexpected choice:
initial meeting
For Oprah Winfrey, the TV icon, 1986 was a historic year. In the same year that her renowned program, The Oprah Winfrey Show, debuted, she also fell in love with Stedman Graham.
It wasn’t love at first sight when they initially met at a charity function. Rather, the two struck up a friendship.
Oprah remarked, “I had seen this man around town, but I didn’t pay much attention because he was always with the same girlfriend.” However, one day we were both paying a visit to a sick mutual acquaintance who subsequently passed away from AIDS. Both I and the guy with the girlfriend had arrived at the friend’s house by ourselves. I asked him if he wanted to get a beer before we left together. (Yes, I used to wear cowboy boots every day and drink a lot of beer.) He claimed not to drink. (He hasn’t had a single drink of anything alcoholic while I’ve known him.)
Initially, Stedman was referred to as Oprah Winfrey’s “gentleman friend” by the media. The leader of Athletes Against Drugs at the time was Chicago native Stedman Graham.
After a year, it was evident that the couple was living together, and their union was formally acknowledged.
“We spent time together. We always kind of eyed each other, so to speak, and we went in the same circles. Then we were free to go on dates, which we did. We headed to the theater for a laid-back date. Not a huge deal. It was pleasant. We enjoyed ourselves,” Stedman said to The Palm Beach Post.
Reporters covering entertainment were talking about a potential wedding date as early as 1987. But Stedman wasn’t all that interested in talking about marriage. Rather, he extolled the virtues of his recent lover, describing their bond as the most “refreshing” he had ever encountered.
Despite having a prosperous profession of his own, Stedman was content to be regarded as Oprah Winfrey’s partner.
He was very clear, though, that he preferred not to be called “Mr. Winfrey.”
“I am essentially aware of my destination. She has my admiration. I would encourage her to run for president if she so chooses. Because I make an effort to be autonomous, I am highly respected by others. Stedman once said, “I don’t try to associate myself with her.”
Getting hitched
Oprah Winfrey declared her engagement to Stedman in 1992. Stedman was the one who eventually proposed after seeing Oprah at her farmhouse in Indiana.
In an interview with WFSB-TV, the media billionaire admitted, “It does scare me a little bit, the whole idea of being married to somebody for the rest of your life.”
“You don’t want to wake up in ten years and think, ‘Oh my god, who is this person I married?'” I think sitting is the proper thing to do, even though it scares me a little bit.
The couple ultimately decided not to walk down the aisle and no wedding date was ever established. They called off their engagement in 1993.
“I came to see that marriage wasn’t what I truly wanted.” In 2020, she wrote, “I wanted to be asked,” for the O, The Oprah Magazine.
“I wanted to know if he thought I was deserving of his love, but I wasn’t interested in making the daily sacrifices, concessions, or commitment necessary to keep a marriage going. We both understood that my life with the program came first.
Meanwhile, it was undeniable that Oprah genuinely loved Stedman.
“He exudes such optimism. sincerely hopes for the best for myself and everyone he knows. really hopes for the best for others,” she stated. He’s as steady as a mountain, so his name makes sense. calm-headed, responsible, reliable, and patient.
Stedman also came to the conclusion that the couple’s marriage might not have been the best one. He acknowledged that they probably wouldn’t be together now if they had gotten married.
“It’s true, no one believes it,” Oprah told Vogue in 2017.
“I never mentioned it until I asked Stedman, ‘What would have happened if we had gotten married?'” To which the response is, “We wouldn’t be together.” We wouldn’t have remained together since marriage necessitates a distinct style of living.
Oprah Winfrey’s children
At one point in their relationship, Oprah thought about becoming a mother. She acknowledges that she gave it some attention after becoming engaged to Stedman.
“I once purchased a second apartment in Chicago because I anticipated needing space for kids once we got married,” the media mogul remarked.
However, she and Stedman decided that at that point, it wasn’t the best decision for them. She came to the realization that parenthood involves significant duty and “sacrifice” after speaking with other married mothers on The Oprah Winfrey Show.
She views moms with the “highest regard” as a result, but she never looks back and considers what may have been.
“I realized that a lot of the messed-up people I talk to are messed up because their parents didn’t understand how important that work is,” the woman said.
“I can’t compartmentalize the way other women can,” the woman said. Because I have no idea how you manage to stay at home with your children all day, I have always held the utmost respect for mothers who make that decision. Women are seldom given the credit they merit.
Why they keep to themselves as a couple
Despite having lived their whole lives in the public eye, Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham are renowned for maintaining a discreet relationship.
Although Oprah has made light of the fact that not many people are aware of Stedman’s appearance, the two have really attended a number of premieres and galas together.
Oprah has avoided making public appearances with Stedman lately in order to avoid the ongoing rumors and speculation that frequently accompany them. For example, there were speculations in 2016 that the couple had secretly married, which Oprah publicly denied.
She tweeted, “Six people who know me well have called today congratulating me or saying they’re surprised they weren’t invited to my wedding.” “That is untrue!”
The ideal evening out
Oprah calls her relationship with Stedman a “spiritual partnership” these days. The TV personality occasionally divulges personal information about her relationship with Stedman, such as what she views as the ideal date.
“I can cook really well, and the best thing about Stedman is that over the years, I’ve cooked him everything, even just a piece of toast. Like the other day, I made an English muffin, and he was asking me where I got it, and I was just saying, ‘It’s an English muffin,” Oprah said in an Instagram Q&A.
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“He loves everything I make, so my favorite date night is to surprise him with dinner of black-eyed peas and cornbread and then, honey, shut up,” the woman remarked. That is all you require. A small amount of cornbread and black-eyed peas. That concludes it.
Why they didn’t get married
Going back to the initial query, “Why didn’t Oprah and Stedman get married?”, the answer is rather obvious now that a lot of time and discussion have passed.
Oprah has stated time and time again that she doesn’t think getting married is the best decision for her and her partner. Oprah believes that their current arrangement is the best fit for them despite their strong bond and dedication to one another.
“It used to cross my mind all the time that after working these 17-hour days, along with my producers, I would come home to my two dogs and Stedman, who was allowing me to be who I needed to be in the world,” the woman remarked. “He never makes demands of me, such as asking where I left my breakfast. Where’s my meal, please? Never any of that, which I think would have been different if we had gotten married.
“We would not be together if we had married,” she continued, speaking for both of them now. “There’s no doubt about it—I would have my own ideas about it and he would have had different ideas about what it meant to stay married.”
The relationship between Oprah and Stedman is proof that commitment and love don’t necessarily go in the same directions.
Their journey together serves as a reminder that it’s acceptable to create your own terms for a relationship and to find pleasure and contentment whatever it best suits you. If you can relate, please share this story!
